The Mind Is A Dangerous Thing To Use

“Who hurt you?”

Every woman i’ve ever known.

I’m starting to lose faith in human relationships.

Everyone is afraid.

Of what?

Of life.

The last thing I need in my life at the moment is someone else’s fear dictating my actions.

Where is it that we stand?

Have I been tucked away in your savings account? Our are you keeping up appearances while getting the love you needed from someone else?

Have I been demoted to back-up? So what do I do now? “Live my life” like everyone says to. Oh how easily friends make it seem. This “being ok” they speak of is a pipe dream. I doubt anyone can be ok when the situation is unfinished, unknown.

And is there another? Someone who holds you…and tells you things I’ve always wanted to say? Do his hands remind you of mine? Are his lips as warm, as filled with love…and passionate lust?

Does your heart belong to him…?

And now, must I wait until your heart is broken to once again appear in your life?

Do you even want me to anymore?

Because once again, his heart is in tatters and I am free to roam his psyche.

It truly is a powerful feeling.

Weeks of torture, distress, and depression dashed with a sentence that offered no promises or contracts.

But it gave me something to believe in again…

And what more can any man ask for than something to believe in.

Is it so difficult to be happy?

Is it wrong of me to desire to be a part if another’s existence?

Am I mistaken in my belief that caring for the one you love is a natural occurrence?

Are my loved ones thoughts and feelings not inextricably connected with my own?

Is my need for her affection and validation inhuman?

Are my efforts to love someone completely futile?

If love is no longer an attainable height, why has no one told me to pursue simpler apparitions?

Why am I so hard pressed to meet my lifelong companion, if even telling someone that you care is unacceptable?

Can anyone answer my questions?

Can anyone understand my thought?

If you can, then teach me…teach me how to love in this world that is afraid of itself.

*I am abandoning my command of the English language during this next post because my colloquial voice is much more suited to the content I’m am about to release from my system. I apologize in advance.*

OMG I wanna fuck the mess out of this girl sooooo badly!!! And I shouldn’t, and it’s wrong, but fuck(!) I just wanna tear her insides up with my fucking cock. I want my dick to bottom out in her pussy. I want to palm her head as my cock barrels down her throat!!! It’s that bad. I want to fuck her that badly…

AND HONESTLY,…I have no reason to want it so badly. She’s not that cute. She’s not a nice person. She doesn’t have this amazing body. She probably doesn’t even like me that much. BUT THE DESIRE I HAVE TO FUCK THIS WOMAN IS BEYOND ME. and it is the last thing I should do right now. It really is the worst possible feeling that I could have right now, but fuck(!) it’s there.

jkadvfjGfVfielvAILEVALFGELKGFYALYKGFEALEGFLKAYGLYJKDVFzljSEJCzshCHKGECKJTFAKJY

*sigh*

*Thank you for understanding.*

In most cases, I am seriously unable to control my lust.

I always want to have sex. I know who I want to have sex with and I know how I want to have sex with them.

Most likely I’ve planned out situations in which it would be possible or more likely to happen.

And this website is no different.

There is an abundance of curvaceous goddesses that grace my dashboard, and all of them admit constantly how much they desire a “good fuck.” 

I have never been the type to back down from something I wanted, and strategically, I am perfectly positioned to ravage a different women every day of the week for an extensive period of time. All of them gorgeous. All of them willing.

Most of whom I only need offer a rendezvous point…

And the only thing stopping my inner beast from bursting forth from my loins in a sea of lustful appetite, snapping loud and wet for the supple, needy targets he sees before him…

…is the smile of another.

The only smile that matters right now.

To think that I’ve been prattling on about how you don’t care…about you being afraid. About how no one recognizes how amazing I AM.

Yet this whole time, you’ve been battling monsters. You’ve been fighting the demons inside yourself.

Demons I’ve been blessed to never know.

Demons I can’t fight for you…

You scared me so much today.

You calmly told me things, compounded on things I already know you deal with every day. 

And you still had the strength to smile at me when you did.

All I can do now is send you my love and support you with my words and my feelings.

It’s not not nearly enough…

But it has to be…doesn’t it.